Please pray that my parents don't find this.

Kicking this off with a story.

So, I'm fairly broke. Not as broke as many others. I'm living at home until I start college in the Fall, but I still need some goddamn money. Like many others, I went to Craigslist for guidance and/or employment. Mostly the latter.

I responded to an ad that read something like this:

Male dancers needed (downtown)

  Must be fit and attractive. No experience necessary. This is an eighteen and over club with a mixed crowd. Please call ***** for details. ***-***-****

 ----------------------------

 Let's call him "Chris." Wait, that's a really shitty codename. Instead, I think I'm going to use names from Shakespearean plays. He's "Othello." Yeah, much cooler. 

Not sure why I thought that Othello was going to offer me an actual job. For some reason, when I read the ad, I expected to be auditioning to be some sort of go-go dancer, or some sort of classy dance revue kind of thing. I rarely see many job offerings that utilize my talents, so I was quick to jump on this one. However, once I started dialing, I noticed the bullet point that read "Compensation: varies nightly."

Finally, it dawned in me that 1. I really need to start reading the entire ad when job-hunting, and 2. I am currently calling to audition to be a stripper. 

I have nothing against strippers. Some of my best friends are strippers. That's actually a huge fucking lie, but still, I don't think of them as lesser, even though they're the victims on CSI: Las Vegas about every single week.

I would have put a regular dead stripper here, but I believe in the power of femininity.

But still....Me? Strip? I mean, I could do it. I've given my fair share of lap dances and strip teases to boyfriends before. But this is way different. Questions swirled my head. Would I hate myself? Would I be able to look at myself? Is this a gateway to prostitution? Will there be anyone to look out for me? Most importantly, how much do I need the cash right now?

So, I followed through. Othello seemed like a nice enough guy, he didn't mind when I got awkward and asked "Umm, so...this...uh, this is like, a stripping gig?" 

You know, just in case it wasn't...

Alas, it was. He set me up for an audition a week from yesterday. I decided that I should go through with it. Might as well audition. If I hate it, then I just...won't take the job. It can't be that bad. I think.  

So, this, my first post, chronicles my adventures as a stripper. Hopefully I'll get the job, and hopefully this won't turn out to be a tragedy.  

I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

JK lol there is no god.